dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
