Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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