ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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