She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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