I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
