I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
