everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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