I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
