Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
