I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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