lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
