are you still at the devil's house?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
