you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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