I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
