I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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