Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
