he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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