Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
