there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
be right there i have to get my cape
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
