...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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