so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
