What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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