Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
