Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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