I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
