He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
