to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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