Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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