Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
