Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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