Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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