mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
