I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
