I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
