ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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