Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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