I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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