I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We are all done wearing pants today
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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