I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
