You really coming over, don't trick.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
