it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
