Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
