No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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