I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
