We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
