if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You need Xanax blowdarts
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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