is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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