I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
