Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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