just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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