If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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