Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
