So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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