every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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