Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It was confusing and full of hummus
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize