why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
