i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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