I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
