I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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