I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He kissed a someone with a penis
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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