I should be sponsored by Trojan
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
