For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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