Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize