girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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