he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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